yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
