she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
The air taste purple.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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