My room smells like vodka and shame
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
