5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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