Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
