I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
How does one acquire holy water?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize