i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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