No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize