Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
