I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
