Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
