i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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