i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize