He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
