i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
