Your tits are I can't wait for
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species