I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
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You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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