Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
