Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
he had hair everywhere except his balls