Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
