Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
