I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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