That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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