I skipped work to stalk him.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
