My friends, they love my intelligence
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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