this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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