Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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