i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
