he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
