You're a womanizer and a bitch.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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