Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
