I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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