I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
