why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize