She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
then he tried to convert me to islam
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
