You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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