I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
