that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
