Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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