OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
