he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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