I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Well I just put wine in my tea
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize