My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
