what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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