How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Hippo gnu deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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