What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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