It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
