Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
