Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
