In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
True strength comes from lack of pants
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
