OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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