3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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