I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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