She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
