he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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