I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
My first STD was from a foam party
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
