YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
