Dual....:-)
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
