Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
