I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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