He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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