Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
