i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
they're like a gay fantastic four
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
