i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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